you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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