So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
