she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
