I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
