Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
