i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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