the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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