he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
