Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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