mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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