If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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