Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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