First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He better not be in your backpack
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
