if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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