I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
