Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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