if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
