That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
