I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
