How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
