are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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