Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
