omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
