Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well I just put wine in my tea
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
