saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
