Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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