Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Quick, to the slutcave!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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