i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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