just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
