theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
