I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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