if you like me you must not know who I am
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
