Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
