im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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