I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
