end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
