Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
