Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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