Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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