is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
