so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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