I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
