he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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