well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
