is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
