he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
