Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
