what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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