Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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