I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
