you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
BRING THE BAGELS
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
