is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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