Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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