Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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