are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
