Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
