dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
