We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
