sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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