Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
