I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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