i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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