i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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