I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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