I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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