the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
