2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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