Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
