We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
