I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
