He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
