I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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